I Used To Be A Normal Person

As a man, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me “Privileged”, a racist & responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal & moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget & support myself.

I went to High School, got a degree, got in some college & have always held a job. But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was “advantaged”.

I am heterosexual, which according to “gay” folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which makes me a de facto member of the “vast NRA gun lobby”

I am older than 60, making me a useless eater who doesn’t understand Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.

I think & I reason, and I doubt much of what the “mainstream” media tells me, which makes me a “Right-wing conspiracy nut”.

I am proud of my heritage & our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.

I believe in hard work, fair play, & fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort – not freedom of outcome or subsidies which makes me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defense & protection of America for & by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand & salute during our National Anthem – so I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I’m just not sure who I am anymore!

Funny – it all took place over the last 7 or 8 years! If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I don’t even know which restroom to use, and I gotta go more FREQUENTLY!

IN GOD WE TRUST
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